Money seems to be the last thing people want to talk about in polite society. You don’t want to offend anyone. It’s considered gauche to ask someone how much their possessions cost.

Can I get real here for a minute? It’s a HUGE pet peeve of mine when people talk about money. Now I don’t mean talking salaries and such with girlfriends or networking groups, because studies have shown that that’s helpful when salary negotiations come up. Also, that seems to be the appropriate setting. No. I’m talking about something TOTALLY different.

Look, whatever you spend on something is what you spend. I’m not in your pockets unless you’re asking for something out of mine. That being said, don’t worry about what I spend on things. I’m a bargain shopper. On my grave will likely be the words, “I have a coupon for that!” Because I rarely pay full price for anything. But even if I overpaid by a bajillion dollars for every single thing I own, it’s not anyone’s business.

I hope everyone is out there spending within their means. Sure, I would love a YSL bag. But the $3k+ price tag won’t cut it for me. I see plenty of my friends and associates with them. It’s not my business how they got them. They could have been gifts. They could have robbed a liquor store. They could have saved for it. Regardless, I like the bag and I’ll tell them that and say no more. Because how they obtained said bag has nothing to do with me.

What really blows my mind is how people will make flippant comments where you have to defend your spending. Story time. I was planning my son’s first birthday party. I knew it was going to be a big one. I knew I’d be going as “all out” as my funds would allow. Someone asked me about what I was doing, so I shared my plans. Their response was something to the effect of, “That’s so much! I would have just had some hamburgers and hotdogs at the house and invited a few people over to watch him smash a cake.” Ummmm, ok. There’s nothing wrong with that plan, but it wasn’t what I was doing and I shouldn’t have been put in a position where I had to defend what I was spending money on.

Money is one of those contentious topics one should be careful when speaking about. What I deem important, someone else may not. It’s just not my business what is a “must” line item in your budget where that same thing may be discretionary spending in mine. More and more, as people are prioritizing self-care, that may show up in very different ways. Spa, shopping, books, social events. Whatever it is, it’s theirs. Unless someone makes your budget part of theirs, do me a favor and “don’t care.”