Recently, a woman at a baby shower was told she didn’t need to send thank you notes to the attendants for their gifts. As I read this, I went from shock to eye-rolling, to the ever-popular pursing of the lips and shaking my head.

So wait. Let me get this right. A group of people has come together to celebrate you or something you’ve done and you don’t thank them beyond that moment?

I say this as I have a stack of thank you notes to send out from a recent birthday fete where I told my friends “no gifts!” but they came through with the goods anyway because they are magical and wonderful.

Back to the matter at hand. Thank you notes are necessary. After a baby shower. After a wedding. After a nice present is given to you. After someone has shown you tremendous grace. Show appreciation and put it in writing. Not in email, either. No. A handwritten note.

I love stationery. Buying it and designing my own. But you can very easily pick up a pack of thank you cards at your local supermarket. They’re with the greeting cards.

A well-thought out thank you card thanks the person for a specific act or gift and genuinely expresses how much you enjoy said thing. GENUINELY. If you didn’t really like it, don’t go overboard.

Kids should get started writing notes of appreciation as soon as they can hold a crayon. Did an aunt get them a nice present? Have them scribble a note to her in a card after you’ve written a note of thanks. It may be literally a scribble, but the receiver will get a kick out of it and you will have shown your child one of the more important parts of etiquette.

My memory is long and petty. I’ll admit it. I remember folks who don’t send notes. I am working hard on extending grace to those people, but it’s hard. It just feels as though they feel entitled to my gift and they are certainly not. The verbal thank you at the time of the giving isn’t enough.

I’ll even bend a little and say a phone call would be nice if one isn’t inclined to send a note. A personalized phone call. Pick up the phone and dial the number. Don’t send a text. Leave a message if you have to. This seems better than saying nothing.