Baby Showers and a Drought of Good Manners

I don’t know where it got started, this thing of having multiple baby showers, but it has to stop. Let me explain.

Baby showers are in place to give the new mother things she didn’t have, whether that be onesies or advice. You heard me. This is when it is appropriate to have a baby shower:

  1. Your first baby. You have nothing, likely. This is a chance for everyone to shower you with things they find helpful and advice and love.
  2. Subsequent babies of a different sex. Your first was a girl and now you’re having a boy. Fabulous. Have a shower! This is especially useful if you have gender-specific toys, clothes, and decor.
  3. Multiples. You find out a subsequent pregnancy is going to be a bigger bundle of joy than you anticipated. You get to have a shower. You’re going to need a lot. In fact, you might just want to register for diapers.
  4. It’s been more than 5 years since your last child. Presumably, with family planning, you keep baby supplies anticipating you’ll need them for your kids. Sometimes babies take us by surprise. Go ahead and have a shower, since you likely don’t have any supplies from your other children.

So you see, there are very few instances where a shower is necessary. Recently, I’m hearing people talk about “sprinkles”. I don’t agree with them. Why? Because baby showers are not a celebration of the baby, necessarily. They are for the mother to get advice and stuff. So unless it’s one of the aforementioned circumstances, no shower or sprinkle needed. People will argue that every child should be celebrated. You’re right. On their birthday, celebrate them. That’s not what a shower is for.

Also, can we talk about how expensive it is to have a shower (done correctly) in the first place? Very. I’m leery of events looking like gift-grabs, so I’m vehemently against putting out some cheese and crackers while asking for big ticket items like strollers and car seats. Something about that just seems wrong. And if you’re having a shower for each and every child and doing it correctly, you’re running into quite a bit of an expense. So, let me save you some money. Stop.

I’m well aware that folks will disagree with me. That’s fine. But put it like this: older family members – who predated all this sprinkle business – may conveniently forget to send you a gift for violating baby shower etiquette. And now you know why.